


Anybody out there?

by dirtynightclowns



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Death References, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homosexuality, Loneliness, M/M, References to Suicide, Self Confidence Issues, Separation Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 20:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtynightclowns/pseuds/dirtynightclowns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Listen, listen, I would take a whisper if that's all you had to give.<br/>But it isn't, isn't.<br/>You can come and save me and try to chase the crazy right out of my head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. War against myself

John couldn't help but give in to the urge of gliding that blade across his pale, smooth skin. Inviting his best friend Dave over was a horrible idea, that was for sure. He knew it was just minutes before his arrival, but he assured himself that he would make this quick. He fumbled through his pocket, searching for his phone to throw Dave a text letting him know that the door was open so he can feel free to just walk in.  
Sighing, the boy made his way to the bathroom, not bothering to fully shut the door; opening up a locked drawer containing a collection of various sharp objects such as razors, pins, and even a pocket knife.  
"I'm so pathetic..." he mumbled to himself as he removed his shirt, immediately picking up a decent sized razor and pressing it to his arm.  
He slid it across the skin, frowning in disgust at the small pearls of blood forming through the cut.  
Even though he didn't exactly enjoy the sight of blood, he had gotten to used to seeing his own on a daily basis.  
He continued making the cuts all the way up his arm until he was satisfied. Blood was starting to drip onto the floor, creating a tiny pool.  
"Crap, I need to clean this up before Dave gets he-"  
He was cut off when he heard a familiar voice.  
"Yo, John? Where are you?"  
 _Oh god, he's already here_   
John began to panick, not knowing what to do.  
He began running the water in the sink, sticking his arm under, and hissed at the sudden contact.  
"Agh... shit!" he bit down on his lip, hoping Dave hadn't heard him, and then froze in shock when he heard footsteps leading to the bathroom door which he should've, but hadn't fully closed.  
The door began to slowly creak open, to reveal an extremely shocked Dave Strider. Or at least John believed so. His mouth was agape, his lips quivering, trying to say something but just couldn't. All he did was run up to his best friend and brought him into a warm embrace, resting his chin on his head, sliding one hand through his hair ever so gently, the opposite one trying to rub comforting circles into his bare back.  
Emotions welled up inside the smaller boy, releasing all at once in the form of tears.

===> **Be that smaller boy**

So here you are, trying into your best friend, Dave Strider's shoulders. He found you out. He knows about the horrible things you do to yourself with that dreaded razor blade. He's trying to comfort you, weakly explaining to you that everything will be alright. No. Nothing is going to be alright. You know that for a fact.  
Wait.  
What's that.  
Oh... wow.  
He's crying too, although he's trying his best to conceal it. He keeps stopping momentarily to wipe at his eyes through under his shades, and his breaths are shaky.

And now you're bawling your eyes out to no end.  
You're both crying in each other's arms.  
It goes on for a while.

It then eventually comes to an end and you've both calmed down, wiping the tears from each other's eyes. Dave removed his shades a while ago, probably to prevent them from getting stained.  
He begins to let go of his grip on you, turning his attention to your injured arm, which causes you to panic.  
"Dave please no, no, no. Oh my god, no. don't let go of me." You choke out, holding onto him tighter.  
"I'm not going anyw-"  
"Please, Dave. Please don't let go! I want to stay like this, please... Just a little longer.. I'm begging you..." you cut him off. You know it's selfish of you but you really want to just be held by him for a little while longer. You're scared.  
"Alright, but you're letting me take care of your arm later. Sound fine? I don't want it to get infected. I needa bandage that for you." He says with a small hint of his Texan accent showing. You agree, and then bury your face in his shoulder once again.

He starts to rock you back and forth, humming peacefully, and you drift off to sleep. 

The last thing you remember is him placing a small kiss on your cheek before lifting you up and carrying you to your bedroom in a bridal-like fashion.  
You may also recall how it made your heart flutter.


	2. Never Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if I say it'll be alright,  
> I still hear you say you want to end your life.  
> And why can't we try to just stay alive?  
> Maybe we'll turn it around, 'cause it's not too late.  
>  _It's never too late..._

"Why the hell would you do this to yourself?"  
"You're a fucking freak."  
"What did you say?"  
"You _love_ me?'  
"Now that's something that makes you even more repulsive than you already are. Stay the hell away from me." he spits at you, leaving you bleeding on the bathroom floor.

You silently wait for death.

**=== > John: Wake up from reoccuring nightmare **

You wake up, a small yelp erupting from your mouth. You're sweating, and tears are rolling down your cheeks. Of course, the nightmare was terrifying, but then you start to recall the events that took place last night.  
You invited Dave over, felt the urge to hurt yourself, so you decided to take care of that quickly, but your best friend showed up earlier than you expected, and, well...  
The night ended when you feel asleep as he cradled you, shooshing and humming in order to get you to calm down.  
You also remember something else, but you decide that it was just your imagination taking its role.

Your attention then turns to your arm, and it's freshly cleaned up and bandaged.  
 _Dave must've done this..._

 **Dave...**

You look around, and find him nowhere to be in sight.  
Your heart hurts, but you accept the fact that he left you. _He didn't want to spend his time catering to a worthless piece o-_

And there's Dave, standing at the door, flashing a light smile before walking over and sitting besides you on your bed.  
"Have you been crying, dude?"  
Lifting up a finger to your eyes, you wipe away the tears that still lingered from when you woke up from that horrible nightmare.  
"Oh... uh... I just had a really bad dream, that's all."  
"What was it about?"  
"Nothing... I'd rather not talk about it... I'm just glad you're here, Dave. I thought you left me and-"  
He wraps his arm around a shoulder, pulling you close.  
"I wouldn't leave you like that, Egbutt. I'm staying with you until you get sick of my shit and kick me out. I left just to go and grab my stuff from the apartment." he points to a few bags full of what you assume clothes and personal items.  
"You don't mind, do you?" he asks you, which causes you to think for a moment.  
"I really don't! I don't want to put a burden on you, though."  
"Nah. It's fine, I can get used to your Nic Cage infested room."  
He chuckles a bit, and you do too.  
You hesitate but then open your mouth to ask in all seriousness,  
"You don't think i'm a freak, right...?"  
Dave responds with a sigh and begins rolling up the sleeve of his shirt, which to your surprise, is covered in many scars.  
"Now, a bunch of these are from strifing with Bro, but I did create most of them with the help of a razor."  
He pauses before adding,  
"I used to get bullied, a lot. For being gay, actually. I guess that was just my way of venting my feelings when I had absolutely no one there for me."  
He then takes off his shades, readjusts himself and looks you in the eyes.  
"As for you... You have someone who cares. You have plenty of friends you can go to, especially Rose. She's pretty good with that stuff. But if you don't feel comfortable with anyone else knowing, you can go to me. I don't judge, and I can provide you some decent advice at least."  
A deep shade of red now spreads across your cheeks, traveling to the tips of your ears.  
"I love you, please don't hurt yourself."  
The next thing you know Dave has his lips pressed against yours.

**"I love you."**

Your eyes are pretty wide, and you're shocked for the most part, but you relax into the kiss, letting it last for quite some time. You both pull away and then you reply back softly, 

_I love you too_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be in dave's pov.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, well, this is my first fanfic, and i know there will probably be many flaws, so would someone be kind enough to make me aware so i can correct them? ^^ thank you, also i appreciate any feedback, and i'll update this story frequently! ((as well as make longer chapters as the story progresses))


End file.
